Tired of Dating Already? Ready for the real deal?
Here is a checklist to help keep you focused on what is important.
Complete this Checklist Before Going on Your First Date
Not everyone enjoys dating. Most are a bundle of anxiety when they meet new people and have no idea how it’s going to play out.
In the midst of the process, you might miss the most important point of the date in the first place.
One of the biggest dating mistakes you can make is to forget why you’re going through all this in the first place.
This checklist is a tool for you to think about your priorities proactively instead of reactively. It’s worth it to take the time to clarify what’s important to you so that you don’t waste your time.
Define Your Deal-Breakers
Some people have so many deal-breakers that they have trouble meeting someone who’s worthy enough, and others don’t have enough deal-breakers and they find themselves in unhealthy relationships.
It’s crucial for you to take a step back and think about the qualities that you are looking for right now.
Instructions for the Dating Deal-Breakers Checklist
- Choose the five most important qualities that matter to you in your dating life right now.
- Try to be as honest with yourself as possible. There is no need to feel guilty about what is on or not on your list.
- Remember, this is not an equal opportunity hiring situation. You get to make up your own rules and choose the person you want to date
- Don’t choose an item from the list because it’s an important quality to someone else (ie your family or friends). This is YOUR LIST.
- Notice the instructions say “Qualities that matter to you RIGHT NOW”. Context is important. If you’re looking for a life partner your list will be very different than if you’re looking for someone to have fun with over the summer.
- Try to focus your attention on what you DO want, not what you DON’T want. This isn’t a process of elimination. For example you DO want someone who is not afraid of sharing vs you DON”T want someone who is reticent.
- We know 5 might seem like a difficult number. No worries, if you can’t narrow it down, take this list and rank the items in order of importance to you.
- Feel free to grab a whole new piece of paper and add items that aren’t on the list. This tool is just a starting off point to help you get in a different head-space.
Once You’re Out on the Date
Keep your checklist in mind. It’s your job to pay attention to whether your date has the five things on your list (and hopefully lots of bonus qualities as well). Pretend you’re shopping for a specific outfit for a specific occasion. Try not to get distracted by the other things on the rack.
Pay attention to whether your date is listening closely to what you’re saying. Is he asking questions? Does she genuinely seem interested in the answers to your questions? Is he talking about other people in their lives with respect? Is she speaking with a general sense of judgement? Is he curious about YOU?